The "C" Branch

Jaded commentary on random shit, with an extra helping of cynicism, satire and general contempt for society & Western culture, religion, politics, celebrities, technology, business & more.

Aug 28

Monday Snicker (a day late)


I wasn’t on a computer at all yesterday, so that kinda clipped my ability to post a Monday Snicker, now didn’t it? Hopefully these outrageous quotes will make up for it though! These are things that someone really said and were then overheard in New York.

    Thanks for letting me borrow your phone. Oh, let me wipe my sweat off of it. I sweat like a Southerner in a spelling bee.

This is too funny. Mean as it is, you’ve just got to laugh.

    Waitress: We don’t serve assholes here.
    Customer: This is New York. How do you stay in business?

Don’t feel bad, New Yorkers. Michigan is not much better.

    This will sound really weird, but different instruments made me have to pee more. I was like, ‘Damn you, saxophone!’

I want to know where this musician chick is and why I don’t know her! I think she’s on to something!

    Clerk: Nice purse.
    Man: Thanks. It came free with the relationship and subsequent castration.

My heart goes out to all you married folks out there.

And, saving the best for last:

    Man: I sell watches. I’m going to have cards made… I’m a horologist.
    Chick: I’m just a whore.

Have a great day everyone!

Aug 20

Monday Snicker: IN UR iSIGHTS


Monday is traditionally classified as a draggy day. After a nice, restful, but way too short weekend, it’s unfortunately time to head back to work or school. Mondays are just not fun, no matter how anxious you might think you are to get back to the office or classroom. Sometimes, you could really use something to laugh at to lighten up the situation. Well, hopefully the new “Monday Snicker” posts here on The “C” Branch will cheer you up and brighten your day!

I actually got this idea from my friend Ilker Yoldas at The Thinking Blog. He currently has a challenge to see who can make the best LOLCat (or other animal) picture caption. So, if you’re up for the challenge, go check it out now!

So, whether it’s a funny LOLCat pic, a witty joke, a funny quote, wacky cartoon, amusing video, or some other comical goodie, be sure to stop by and grab your Monday Snicker here at The “C” Branch!


IM IN UR MACBOOK

Left: My friend’s cat “Baxter” tries to take over our IM conversation.