The "C" Branch

Jaded commentary on random shit, with an extra helping of cynicism, satire and general contempt for society & Western culture, religion, politics, celebrities, technology, business & more.

Monday Snicker (a day late)

Posted by Chris DeMarco on Tuesday, August 28th, 2007 at 11:13 am

I wasn’t on a computer at all yesterday, so that kinda clipped my ability to post a Monday Snicker, now didn’t it? Hopefully these outrageous quotes will make up for it though! These are things that someone really said and were then overheard in New York.

    Thanks for letting me borrow your phone. Oh, let me wipe my sweat off of it. I sweat like a Southerner in a spelling bee.

This is too funny. Mean as it is, you’ve just got to laugh.

    Waitress: We don’t serve assholes here.
    Customer: This is New York. How do you stay in business?

Don’t feel bad, New Yorkers. Michigan is not much better.

    This will sound really weird, but different instruments made me have to pee more. I was like, ‘Damn you, saxophone!’

I want to know where this musician chick is and why I don’t know her! I think she’s on to something!

    Clerk: Nice purse.
    Man: Thanks. It came free with the relationship and subsequent castration.

My heart goes out to all you married folks out there.

And, saving the best for last:

    Man: I sell watches. I’m going to have cards made… I’m a horologist.
    Chick: I’m just a whore.

Have a great day everyone!

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