The "C" Branch

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What Do You Want Your Life To Look Like This Year? – Part 2

Posted by Chris DeMarco on Saturday, January 2nd, 2010 at 12:10 am

Previously, we learned why most resolutions people make don’t end successfully. If you missed it, you can catch the first part of this series here.

Now, we’ll look into two key factors that work hand in hand to help you transform the successful and lasting life change you want from an abstract concept into a reality.

My friend Tony, an incredibly successful businessman, spends his life helping and mentoring others achieve success with their businesses. He has a favorite saying he often shares: “If your why doesn’t make you cry, it’s probably not good enough.” He uses that saying because it’s very true about the people he helps – those who are not determined, or resolved, enough to succeed most likely will not. The reason compelling them to succeed must be powerful enough to drive them all the way to the finish line. They must be most committed to making their “why” happen over anything and everything else in their life.

The first – and single most important – factor in achieving real change is your “why” – or how resolved you are to really change. In fact, the world resolve is defined “to decide: bring to an end; settle conclusively.” It’s nothing less than an absolute – a final, affirmative decision that will not falter or change. In other words, “You’ve got to want it” – and nothing is going to stop you from making it happen. Nothing.

Your “why” should be powerfully emotional – the more, the better – and it should be directly associated with the kind of life you want to have. For example, if you want to lose weight, there’s a reason for it. Get as real and emotional as possible about why you want to lose weight. You don’t want people to stare any more. You don’t want to have to avoid looking at yourself walking by mirrors. You don’t want to get a lecture from your doctor whenever you have an appointment. You’re tired of being overlooked by that hot guy or girl you’re after. You don’t want to be alone for the rest of your life.

Come up with every single reason that you can – and with as much emotional pain that your weight is causing you – as possible. Then, make your decision – resolve to settle for nothing less than what you want.

And this is essential: you must want your “why” more than anything else, no matter what. Then, no matter how hard it is, no matter how badly you might want to give up, your “why” will always be the most powerful emotion that you feel. Most people give up on resolutions because they don’t have a powerful enough reason to make them follow through once they start getting tired or bored with it.

So if you don’t have a good enough “why” for what you want to change, come up with one immediately!

Now that you have your “why,” you’re one step closer to solving the puzzle. However, simply having a “why” will not be enough. You’ll also need a practical way to use your “why” to end up with the reality you want. That’s why the second key factor is important: to get really detailed. And your “why” will point you directly towards these details.

You must paint a very specific picture of what your life – having your “why” – must (and will) look like. In other words, what must you do in order to have your “why?” What sort of foods would you have to eat? What sort of relationships would you have to be in? How would you have to spend your time?

Come up with and answer as many questions like the ones above as you can think of. Again, be as specific and detailed as possible. The picture you are painting will serve as a “game plan” or map for you, and it will help you focus directly on what you need in order to achieve your “why” – and nothing else. If you don’t have a good picture, you’ll be lost and easily distracted, and will end up drifting back to your old ways before you even know what happened. This step is an absolute must.

Let’s look at an example of how these two factors work together towards your success.

If you want to lose weight, you obviously want to lose weight for a reason. And, by brainstorming and getting very specific about your “why,” you have now gathered up the most emotionally-charged reason possible – that you can now repeat to yourself and remind yourself of what you are most committed to every day, especially whenever things get hard. Having Your why then ties directly into the lifestyle you want – and you create a picture to map out exactly the type of life you will need to have in order to achieve what you want. You can focus (only) on exactly how you want your new “optimal” life to look like as the new, thin you: the types of foods that requires eating, the types of activities it requires…absolutely every aspect of the life you want is right in your map.

Now, you finally have what you need to take a “wish” of being thin or a desperate “resolution” to lose a bunch of weight, and turn it into a practical game plan to really end up where you want.

Don’t let another day go by without getting specific about what your life must look like to get to where you want to be. Formulate the most powerful “why” you can, and then begin mapping out all the details of what you’ll need to do to turn your dreams into reality.

In our last section, we’ll take a look at some of the devastating effects compromise can have on dreams. We all do it, so it’s important to be aware of how we’re holding ourselves back from what we really want so that we can achieve our full potential.

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Tagged in:   • addictions • changing life • life change • new year resolution • new years resolutions • overcoming addiction • Self Improvement • weight loss psychology

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